the part of the article <Surviving in an angry world-letting go of anger> by Charles Stanley on <InTouch> magazine
Confess your feelings to God. When antagonistic emotions engulf us, we must immediately acknowledge them to the Lord. Although many people readily recognize their own hostility, others have been in denial for so long that they are unaware of its presence.
One evening after I preached a message about resentment, a young lady walked up to me and said, “I’ve been angry all my life.” She was a believer who wanted to live a godly life, but there was something buried deep within her that kept churning away, stealing her joy and peace. Only after hearing about repressed anger was she able to identify the reason for the unrest in her soul.
While bottling fury is self-destructive, expressing it rashly can harm other people. All of us need a safe way to vent our negative feelings without injuring anybody. The only one who can handle such openness is the Lord. He already knows our ugly thoughts and emotions. Tell Him anything you want—pour out your confusion, hostility, resentment, and pain. Then ask Him to work in your heart to help you respond in a way that glorifies Him and benefits both you and others.
Identify the source. Although this sounds relatively simple, pinning down the root of anger can be a difficult process. We are masters at transferring our animosity from the original source to whoever is within dumping range. It can be as simple as yelling at the kids because of a frustrating situation at work—or as complex as a destructive behavior pattern that stems from an abusive childhood.
You may not like the idea of digging around in the dark places of your soul in order to pull out a root of bitterness. But if it remains, you will spend your life treating each symptom while the hidden cancer of resentment spreads and takes over your soul. Bitterness requires radical surgery, not a bandage.
Deal with it quickly. Ephesians 4:26-27 tells us not to let the sun go down on our anger. Otherwise, we give the Devil an opportunity to do his work in our lives—twisting our thinking with lies, suggesting justifications and excuses, stirring up hatred, inciting a desire for revenge, and planting seeds of bitterness.
Although we are told to resolve anger quickly, the extent of the offense or hurt can affect our timetable. A minor grievance can be easily forgiven, but a personal tragedy, such as the death of a child caused by a drunken driver, will take longer. In difficult situations like this, we can begin by simply acknowledging to God the need to deal with our emotions and to trust that He will help us work through the pain until we can forgive.
Do not sin in your anger. Anger itself is not a sin. In fact, the Bible often speaks of God’s wrath. Our ability to feel this emotion is simply part of being made in His image. However, because of our propensity to sin, this God-given capability is easily misused. There are two prominent ways we sin in our anger—by hanging onto it or by lashing out (Eph. 4:26, 29).
James 1:19 tells us to “be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.” In any conflict with others, we need to make understanding our goal rather than self-defense. If our focus is on proving we’re right or getting our own way, a godly response is unlikely. Be still and listen, silently asking the Lord to help you understand both the words and the motivations of the other person.
Exchange it. Believers have been given a new identify in Christ and are being transformed into His image (Eph. 4:22-24). Because bitterness, wrath, and anger no longer fit who we are, they need to be “put away” like a filthy garment (v. 31). Instead, we are to “put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience” (Col. 3:12).
Forgive the offender. Unless we release the people who have wronged us, bitterness and resentment will take root in our lives. Only by giving up our right for revenge and restitution can we begin to experience the freedom God desires for His children. As we surrender our hostile feelings to the Lord, His presence will begin to restore and heal our broken hearts.
Freedom from Anger
Tolerating an angry lifestyle is not an option for believers. We cannot expect to live in our new nature and keep our resentment. To follow in Christ’s footsteps, we need a change in priorities. Loving and understanding others must supersede our need to defend ourselves, and preserving relationships must replace safeguarding our rights.
If we’ve accepted Christ’s forgiveness of our sins, we cannot demand that others pay for their transgressions against us. To acquire His peace, we must lay all grudges, personal rights, and hurtful insults on the altar—and leave them there. Clinging to grievances keeps us imprisoned in emotional turmoil, but letting go unlocks the door and sets us free. God offers the key of forgiveness. Take hold, and walk out of the dungeon into the light.
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